A Moment With God

Bryan and I have endured what I would call a 10 year valley. It's pointless to describe the details of the valley. It's a valley. And although it's had its peaks, much of the time has been spent in the trenches. We have learned a whole lot in this valley. I can't even begin to tell you how God has provided each and every tool we would need to navigate. (That's how Tuesday tool began - I started writing down the raw Truths of God's Word so that I would never forget them and continue to use them.)

Anyway, about 9 months ago God took us deep into the valley, pushing us past what we thought we were capable of handling. We were in survival mode. Still are. And I have wrestled with God over and over because He continues to NOT answer our prayers the way we think they should be answered! I know how ridiculous this sounds, but it's the way I was seeing things to be very honest with you.

See, up to last night, I had been requesting for God to change our very painful circumstances. I'm tired and weary and I want to be able to breathe without pain. And my hearts cry was "How could this long suffering be beneficial to me at this point Lord? I'm barely functioning and it's affecting everyone around me!" I was praying for external changes.

Last night I was sitting in our church, listening to the pastor preach. My heart was heavy and I was about to burst out in tears. So I quietly slipped out and found a spot where I could pray without interruptions. I spent the next 45 minutes pouring out my brokeness to God (which is gold for a mother with 4 kids!). As tears spilled out of my eyes onto the pages of my Bible, I began to notice something. All those verses that I claimed in my trials, I didn't really know how they applied to me." Like, what in the world does "He will cover you with His feathers; you will take refuge under His wings" mean? (Ps. 91:4) Is God a big gigantic bird and I'm to somehow find a metaphorical spot under His wings for safety? I'm kinda joking here, but in my false sense of spirituality, I would pray this verse, but had no idea how God meant it to be applied.

I began to pray, "God, I have no idea what these verses mean. If you are going to keep me in this trial, then teach me who you are in my trials. Because I don't really know. Show me how you can comfort me. Because I need it. Help me really get/feel/understand what it means to hide in the shelter of your wings. Because I need a protective place right now and I don't feel like I have one. How do you redeem my life from the Pit? (Ps. 103)  Show me what that is really supposed to mean.

In that moment God spoke to my heart. "Now you are praying for my will, child."

This was a game changer for me! It hadn't occured to me to push into God in a way that showed me who/what He could be in my trial. I had been praying for my outside circumstances to change so that I would have comfort and rest. But God showed me that to find the comfort and rest that I was hoping for, I needed to be praying for God to reveal His character in a greater way. This is probably a given for most of you. You're probably thinking "Gosh Jamie, been there, done that." I am a dumb sheep, a daughter of Eve. You can say it.

Many of you who read this blogpost have been praying for us. So I wanted to share with you this great thing that God is teaching me. Thank you for all your faithful prayers. Please continue to pray for us...

Love,
Jamie

Tuesday's Tool - Happy Happy Joy Joy

So I know it's Thursday and I'm just now posting Tuesday's Tool. I couldn't wait until next week to post this. I was reading my daughter's devotional book this morning and I was struck by the simplicity in this author's definition of the difference between happiness and joy.

this came out of the children's devotional book Jesus Calling by Sarah Young...

"Happiness depends on this world, on what is going on around you. Happiness is when you ace the test, or make the winning shot, or you're headed for a vacation at the beach with your best friend. It depends on everything being just right. Happiness is wonderful, but it lasts only a little while.

But Joy--true Joy--is something entirely different. Joy doesn't depend on this world, or whether you're having a good day; it depends on Me. Joy is knowing that I am in control, that I love you and will take care of you - evenwhen you flunk the test, or make the last out, or your family can't afford a vacation. Stay close to Me, and I'll give you My Joy in every situation."

Romans 12:2 says "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." (NIV)
How about the New Living Translation version of this verse: "Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying."

Isn't it so good that God doesn't expect us to be happy all the time? Instead His expectation of us is that we will be "joyful in hope" and that we would "be joyful always..." (1 Thess. 5:16) . You might be thinking "that's a tall order in my life right now, Jamie." By no means am I trying to water down anyone's difficult circumstances... I do want to point to the fact that we can be joyful always because our faith is rooted in God - who is Magnificient, Mighty to Save, All Powerful, All Knowing, Creator, Savior and Redeemer, Giver of Life, Holy of Holies, The One True God, King of kings and Lord of lords, our Defender, Full of Mercy and Grace, a Just Judge, our Shelter, our Shepherd, our Teacher, our Helper, Love in it's fullest and our hope is in Him! 

Storm Stories

I am not a big fan of flying. I don't really know why... all my flying experiences have been good ones. I guess it's just the idea of being in a small space, high up in the air, and zero control over what actually happens to the aircraft! So yesterday evening I flew in an airplane and as always, I spent a good portion of the air time praying. Isn't it so good that we have a Heavenly Father who we can talk to anytime? Most of the flight was turbulent because we were flying through some severe thunderstorms. The lightening was magnificent. Flying parallel to the storm made the amazing lightening show even more beautiful. Flashing streaks silhouetted the ominous clouds. I was captivated. Then I heard God's voice...
                                           I brought you up here to show you this.

I was in the midst of this storm seeing proof of a Mighty God.

Let me steer away from this story for a moment and tell you a personal story. Just like every other Believer in Christ being refined to the likeness of Christ, Bryan and I have been in and out of storms. And currently we are in a pretty tough one. God has been speaking loud and clear to us despite the raging circumstances around us.  And I am so grateful for His voice - it's the rod and staff that are comforting me in this dark valley.

So back to the flight. I started thinking about all the 'storm stories' throughout Scripture. Each one, a revelation of God's mightiness... Jonah swallowed up by a whale, after a storm directs the ship mates to toss him overboard. Noah on a massive ark filled with 2 of every kind of animal, in a storm for 40 days and nights. Peter walking on the water toward Jesus in extreme wind conditions. The disciples watching Jesus calm a raging storm with the words 'Be still.'

They were in the midst of a storm seeing proof of a Mighty God.

How about you? Are you in a stormy season weary from the winds and waves, wondering how long the rain will fall and the winds will blow? Maybe you finally took a step of faith like Peter, walking confidently toward Jesus and you began to fix your eyes on the windy circumstances around you. Suddenly you are sinking. Maybe you, like Jonah, are running from God and He is using a storm to get your full attention. Or maybe the storm you are in is just a lesson in faith - that just as those circumstances are tossing you to and fro, God is saying 'Be still and know that I am God.' (Psalm 46:10). Whatever your situation, know this: God is Mighty. His hand is Mighty. His voice is Mighty. His plans are Mighty. So look for God's Mightiness in your storm. He has great plans for you friend.

'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' - Jeremiah 29:11