A Lesson From My Pantry

At 10 AM everyday we have snack time. This morning, however, the time got away from me and my littlest one reminded me that he was hungry. As I opened the pantry door, he ran over, grabbed a box of cereal and said "I want this."

The cereal is the only food in our pantry that Eli can see. Everything else is above his head.

Now first of all, we don't eat cereal for snacktime. And second, I had a really yummy snack brewing in my mind - a snack with a sweet little M&M surprise in it. My kids didn't know this. And so they were asking me for what they could see. But what I had in mind far exceeded their little hopes.

By now you probably see where I'm going with this.

Isn't this what we do as God's children? We see a 'need' and so we go to the pantry and look around at the shelf on the first level. It's what we can see. Sure there are some things on that shelf that would potentially solve our 'hunger' problems. Then we proceed to ask God for the things on that shelf because it's what we see with our eyes. And we assume it's best for us.

However, there are shelves and shelves and shelves and shelves far above our heads that go miles and miles up.  And those shelves are full of amazing blessings and gifts that far exceed our hopes and dreams. They are things that we could never imagine because our brains can't begin to fathom how wonderful they are.

So if we are praying and praying for something, and God hasn't answered our prayers in the ways we are asking, we can know that He has something on one of those shelves high up that you or I can't see or imagine.
Trust that He always gives us what is good and best for us. Psalm 84:11 says, "For the LORD God is a sun and shield; The LORD gives grace and glory; No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly". I love this verse. We can trust that if we have it, it's what's best. But if we don't have it, it's not what's best!
In His perfect timing, He will give us what we need. Philippians 4:19 says, "And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus."  All. Our. Needs. Also check our Matthew chapter 6...very good.
God loves to bless His children with what's good and perfect for us. James 1:17 says "Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow."  Many times what we ask for isn't whats good or perfect for us, it's just a temporary fix for our difficult circumstances.

I am so grateful for my pantry! What a great reminder God has given me from it! Just a few feet away I have this verse hanging on the wall...  "For My Thoughts are not your thoughts, and your ways are not My ways." This is the Lord's declaration. "For as heaven is higher than earth, so My ways are higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

Here are some other really awesome verses:
Provers 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight."

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20

An Answered Prayer

OK, so before I tell you what it is, I have to tell you the story. I love telling stories, and sometimes I'm long winded. This is one of those times! So if you have a few minutes to spare...

Roll back 10 years ago. Bryan and I took a ministry position in Florida as houseparents. We were pregnant with our first daughter and very excited to finally step foot in ministry. What unfolded over the next year was a very difficult time for our 3 year old marriage. And when we left that ministry, a year later, our marriage was in a bad place and we were broken hearted. Ministry wasn't what it was all chalked up to be and it had about done us in! We lived with our family for a few months until we could figure out where to go and eventually landed in seminary housing with a new baby, a marriage on the rocks, me in a full time job and Bryan back in school.

Along with the emotional strain of fighting for our marriage, there was also a physical strain. I was commuting 1 1/2 hours one way to work a 12 hour shift, 3-4 days a week, then coming home, and rolling right into housewife duties. Slowly the stress began to take its toll on my body. I miscarried 2 babies in a 3 month span. Bryan was working at a restaurant making peanuts for an income. One night he said "I want you to quit your job. I've prayed about it and I think it's what's best."

So I did. Sounds crazy, yes? Most of the time God's ways don't make sense. Not only was that a huge step forward in our marriage (me trusting my husband's leadership), but it was a huge step forward in our faith.

Here's how. By being obedient to my husband's direction for us, God began to switch our roles around. Before, I was (honestly) running the show and leading our family. And Bryan was playing the submission role. Not good. What that moment did for us was pivotal. It immediately put us on the right path for our God designed places in our marriage. It also put Bryan in a place where he began to carry to full weight of providing for us. He was leading and I was his right hand woman! Slowly our marriage began healing. (This was also the time that God put me with my mentor who really began teaching me what Biblical submission looked like. This was a huge part of the healing process of our marriage.)

Bryan got another job soon after. I got pregnant again. (And again. And later, again!!!) We didn't make a whole lot of money, but we watched God provide over and over and over for all of our needs and many of our wants. Many times Bryan would be out of work on Friday and by Monday, he would have another job (he was a subcontractor). I prayed for a good, steady job with benefits. But God kept that door shut.

Then in 2009, God moved us to Texas. The home remodeling economy was dying in NC and we had to go where there was work. Bryan started his contracting business. And then began the ebb and flow of owning a business.

Friends, can I just share something with you?

The next 3 years weren't easy. Bryan's business survived on word of mouth and sometimes we would go months without work, barely making it. There were a few times where we thought we'd face homelessness. A few times where we didn't know what would happen to us. I can't tell you how many times I cried out to God "This is too painful. I don't think we can keep going on." Many times God was silent. But He always always always provided and He always always always comforted us. We were never without food, power, running water, or gas in the vehicles. We had our last baby without health insurance and somehow walked away from the hospital debt free. Many times, people gave to us: clothes, food, money. One friend treated me to a hair cut a few times. It wasn't easy accepting help. But, wow, we were so grateful for it. The reality of our lives was that we never ever knew how we would get through the next month. Bryan applied for countless jobs, went to many interviews. Sometimes it would look very promising and then would fall through. God kept saying "Hope in me." And He kept gently reminding me that whether a job ever came through, He was our provider. I wished I could say I had tons of faith. But I'd be lying.

I prayed continually for my husband to get a job (knowing that He would only give Bryan a job if it was for our best). Prayed continually. Like even at 2am, 3am. Some of you prayed too. For Christmas last year, I asked God to give him a job. "This is what I want for Christmas Lord."

...and a week ago, after many years on a difficult journey, my husband got a job.  It's a good job too and we are so thankful for it. But even more, we are beyond words thankful that God carried us through these last years of our life. Because most days, I could barely stand, much less walk. He carried us. And His grace was sufficient for us and His power was made perfect in our weakness. (2 Cor. 12:9)

The chapter is closed and we have begun a new chapter - one of learning discipline in some areas we couldn't really ever be consistent (like financial planning). We are pressing onward, thanking God continually for what He has done, knowing that if Bryan ever gets injured, sick, or what not, God will take care of us. He is our hope when everything seems hopeless. And that never changes.