Puppies and Fire

My sweet little 5 year old Ellie has been struggling lately with controlling her mouth. She will spout off the ugliest things to the people around her, including me. Today, after multiple corrections, and without a change of heart, I finally picked up our sad spoon and walked with her to our bedroom. She was asking me if I was going to spank her, and quite honestly I had no idea what I was going to say to her. I prayed for God to give me the words to say to help her understand.

When I sat down and met her eye to eye, the word fire came to mind. I was thinking about the verse in James that addresses taming the tongue and how it spreads fire. But the Lord guided me to explain to Ellie that when she says ugly things to people, its like burning them with fire in their hearts. We discussed how being burned with real fire hurts badly and that that is exactly how she makes people feel when she uses her words in a mean way. Then I asked her how she would feel if I handed her a small puppy. Her face lit up and we talked about how she would hug it and kiss it and that it would be soft and fuzzy, warm and cuddly. I explained to her that when she says kind things to people and uses her words to build others up, it's like giving them a puppy inside their hearts. And it makes them feel loved, like hugs and kisses do from a puppy. I held her little hands gently and encouraged her to give puppies and not fire!!!

And she understood.

What a moment for me. Last night I shared with my mentor how I struggle desperately to discipline my children in love. And she warned me that my barking orders and lack of love would create an attitude of rebellion. I could already see it happening. She encouraged me to 1)stop! and then 2)ask God for total and complete guidance and wisdom each and every time I respond to my children.

Today was day 1.

And I praise God for this moment with Ellie. Jesus was right next to me, telling me what to say, what to do, how to respond in love. I did what He said. And Ellie was trained in love. I was trained in love too.

A Question on Quiet times....

I want to talk about the subject of quiet times. (A quiet time being a time when as Christian women of God, we sit down and read the Bible, pray, journal etc...)

I remember the day when I confessed to my mentor that I didn't have a daily quiet time. I was racked with guilt because I hadn't spent deliberate time with the Lord in a number of days. At the time, I had a 3 year old and an infant. I was struggling to find time to cook a meal, wash the clothes, do the dishes. I was sleep deprived and completely exhausted. When I would sit down with the Lord, I struggled to even pay attention to what the Bible was saying. And when I would begin praying, I would fall asleep! I was feeling so guilty over the issue, that many days I was afraid to appoach the throne of grace with confidence.

What my precious mentor said next washed away all my guilt.

She asked me a question. "Jamie, if you knew that Sarah (who is my daughter) wanted to spend time with you, but she had a new baby and a 3 year old and was worn thin from the role of motherhood. And when she sat down with you, she struggled to make complete thoughts and sometimes fell asleep from being so tired. Would you be angry with her?

No, I replied.

Well in the same way, God knows that this is a season He has placed you in. Don't beat yourself up. He understands. He loves you. Do the best you can do. Hang Bible verses at those places where you stand the most (the sink, the stove, the washing machine, your car, your office desk...) and mediate on those verses while you're there. Talk to God about everything. Keep your Bible open on the counter and when you have a few minutes, read a verse or two.

She then pointed me to Isaiah 40:11 which says "He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young."
Hear that? HE GENTLY LEADS THOSE THAT HAVE YOUNG.

That's us moms who have little ones that require tons and tons of TLC. God gently leads us. In other words, He makes Himself easy to find. In other words, when we pick up our Bibles, we don't have to search high and low to find a verse that speaks to our hearts! He is right there in a fingers reach, waiting to put oil in our lamps.

After that, the guilt was gone. I did as she said, hanging scripture everywhere. I tried with all my heart to spend time in the word, but inevitably it would be interrupted by one of my kids. But that was OK, because the little that I seemingly got from the Word was profound and heart changing most days. And I was amazed at the ease of meeting with my Father while living out the roles He had called me to.

I have 4 kids nine and under, so quiet times, for the most part, are something that I get when I'm driving in the car by myself! As a mom, there really isn't a sacred time. Even showers and bathroom breaks are interrupted by little ones. So I try my very best and I challenge you to do the same! And I leave you with Hebrews 4:16...
"Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

A Moment With God

Bryan and I have endured what I would call a 10 year valley. It's pointless to describe the details of the valley. It's a valley. And although it's had its peaks, much of the time has been spent in the trenches. We have learned a whole lot in this valley. I can't even begin to tell you how God has provided each and every tool we would need to navigate. (That's how Tuesday tool began - I started writing down the raw Truths of God's Word so that I would never forget them and continue to use them.)

Anyway, about 9 months ago God took us deep into the valley, pushing us past what we thought we were capable of handling. We were in survival mode. Still are. And I have wrestled with God over and over because He continues to NOT answer our prayers the way we think they should be answered! I know how ridiculous this sounds, but it's the way I was seeing things to be very honest with you.

See, up to last night, I had been requesting for God to change our very painful circumstances. I'm tired and weary and I want to be able to breathe without pain. And my hearts cry was "How could this long suffering be beneficial to me at this point Lord? I'm barely functioning and it's affecting everyone around me!" I was praying for external changes.

Last night I was sitting in our church, listening to the pastor preach. My heart was heavy and I was about to burst out in tears. So I quietly slipped out and found a spot where I could pray without interruptions. I spent the next 45 minutes pouring out my brokeness to God (which is gold for a mother with 4 kids!). As tears spilled out of my eyes onto the pages of my Bible, I began to notice something. All those verses that I claimed in my trials, I didn't really know how they applied to me." Like, what in the world does "He will cover you with His feathers; you will take refuge under His wings" mean? (Ps. 91:4) Is God a big gigantic bird and I'm to somehow find a metaphorical spot under His wings for safety? I'm kinda joking here, but in my false sense of spirituality, I would pray this verse, but had no idea how God meant it to be applied.

I began to pray, "God, I have no idea what these verses mean. If you are going to keep me in this trial, then teach me who you are in my trials. Because I don't really know. Show me how you can comfort me. Because I need it. Help me really get/feel/understand what it means to hide in the shelter of your wings. Because I need a protective place right now and I don't feel like I have one. How do you redeem my life from the Pit? (Ps. 103)  Show me what that is really supposed to mean.

In that moment God spoke to my heart. "Now you are praying for my will, child."

This was a game changer for me! It hadn't occured to me to push into God in a way that showed me who/what He could be in my trial. I had been praying for my outside circumstances to change so that I would have comfort and rest. But God showed me that to find the comfort and rest that I was hoping for, I needed to be praying for God to reveal His character in a greater way. This is probably a given for most of you. You're probably thinking "Gosh Jamie, been there, done that." I am a dumb sheep, a daughter of Eve. You can say it.

Many of you who read this blogpost have been praying for us. So I wanted to share with you this great thing that God is teaching me. Thank you for all your faithful prayers. Please continue to pray for us...

Love,
Jamie

Tuesday's Tool - Hide and Go Seek

It's here! The month of luuuvvvv! Over the next 29 days, I thought it would be fun to throw out a few challenges to myself and fellow-sisters-who-read-the-blog; challenges that could make some positive luv changes in our lives and our families' lives. I hope you'll join me in this! First out of the barn....

Our relationships' with our Heavenly Father.

The challenge comes from Jeremiah 29:13 "You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart" (Holman Christian Standard). The Message says of Jeremiah 29:13, "When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed."

Whew! Hear that? When we want to find Him more than anything else, we won't be disappointed! I smell a challenge in that verse! Infact, it seems to me that God has set up a game of hide and seek!

So here's the challenge for this week: Spend 15 to 30 minutes every day seeking out God with all your (and my) heart. Grab your Bible and get it ready to read. Then, first chance you get, seek Him. Talk to Him. Tell Him what's happening in your life. Confess sin you've been hanging on too. Thank Him for His great love for you. Praise Him because He is a Mighty, Faithful God! Plant your eyes on His unfailing words and read through the Scriptures. Did you find Him? Do you see Him? Happy seeking.... wink!

Hearing Dad

This picture is pretty self explanatory!  However, I do want to share a really cool story about this baby.  The other night Bryan and I were watching TV and the baby was practicing his kick boxing, which is usually what he does at night! So I called Bryan over to feel how strong he was kicking.  Bryan started talking to him and he immediately calmed down and stopped kicking. It seemed like he was listening to his daddy's voice.  Bryan went back to watching the movie and the baby started up again, kicking and punching away.  So Bryan came back over and talked to him again. After a few seconds the kicking stopped!  Bryan continued to talk to him and it was almost as if he was soothed to a sleep, because all was quiet in the womb after that!!

I love the simplicity of this story.  "Wrestless" child hears from his Daddy and is calmed down.  Isn't this how we are as children of God?  If it's not, it's how God wants us to be!  God wants us to pour it out to Him, over and over, no matter what it is.  David sets a wonderful example for us in the Psalms when he records the countless times he cries out to his Heavenly Father, draining his heart of everything that is weighing him down.  Likewise, we get restless and so we go to our precious Father and He calms us, speaking truth to our hearts.  Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God." I rest in the fact that if Jesus calmed the storms and the seas, He can surely calm our hearts.