The Unglamorous Glamour of My Not-So-Hollywood Life

Motherhood. It is by far the most unglamorous thing I have done in my life. Daily I wear a snot-sicle on one shoulder and a crusty cracker slobber on the other. My eyes have dark circles from the up-and-down nights that I have most nights. And if I brush my teeth, wash my hair and shave my legs all in one day, I've had a pretty awesome day.

You know what I mean here if you have kids.

Recently my husband bought me a glamour magazine. It was loaded with Hollywood actresses, makeup tips and all the newest fads. I caught myself drooling, not over the beautifully put together outfits, but because in the few minutes I got to read the magazine, I fell asleep!

Yes, you know what I mean.

Despite the fact that I rarely have it together and feel very unqualified, I am so grateful that God has me in this job called motherhood.  Because then there are days like today when I sit down with my kids and God opens up the door to share Jesus' great love for them. Today was my moment with my son, Andrew. And as I sensed God leading me to share the gospel through some pictures I drew on our dry erase board, and as I watched God do some work in Andrew's little heart, I praised God for the opportunity that I might have missed if I was pursuing a Hollywood career (not that I had that as an aspiration or anything...!)

Right now as I peck out this blog with one hand, my littlest guy Eli is sitting in my lap looking at a picture book, doing his baby babble and congratulating himself for saying new words.

I wouldn't trade my job for all the red carpet glamour in the world! 

A Moment With God

Bryan and I have endured what I would call a 10 year valley. It's pointless to describe the details of the valley. It's a valley. And although it's had its peaks, much of the time has been spent in the trenches. We have learned a whole lot in this valley. I can't even begin to tell you how God has provided each and every tool we would need to navigate. (That's how Tuesday tool began - I started writing down the raw Truths of God's Word so that I would never forget them and continue to use them.)

Anyway, about 9 months ago God took us deep into the valley, pushing us past what we thought we were capable of handling. We were in survival mode. Still are. And I have wrestled with God over and over because He continues to NOT answer our prayers the way we think they should be answered! I know how ridiculous this sounds, but it's the way I was seeing things to be very honest with you.

See, up to last night, I had been requesting for God to change our very painful circumstances. I'm tired and weary and I want to be able to breathe without pain. And my hearts cry was "How could this long suffering be beneficial to me at this point Lord? I'm barely functioning and it's affecting everyone around me!" I was praying for external changes.

Last night I was sitting in our church, listening to the pastor preach. My heart was heavy and I was about to burst out in tears. So I quietly slipped out and found a spot where I could pray without interruptions. I spent the next 45 minutes pouring out my brokeness to God (which is gold for a mother with 4 kids!). As tears spilled out of my eyes onto the pages of my Bible, I began to notice something. All those verses that I claimed in my trials, I didn't really know how they applied to me." Like, what in the world does "He will cover you with His feathers; you will take refuge under His wings" mean? (Ps. 91:4) Is God a big gigantic bird and I'm to somehow find a metaphorical spot under His wings for safety? I'm kinda joking here, but in my false sense of spirituality, I would pray this verse, but had no idea how God meant it to be applied.

I began to pray, "God, I have no idea what these verses mean. If you are going to keep me in this trial, then teach me who you are in my trials. Because I don't really know. Show me how you can comfort me. Because I need it. Help me really get/feel/understand what it means to hide in the shelter of your wings. Because I need a protective place right now and I don't feel like I have one. How do you redeem my life from the Pit? (Ps. 103)  Show me what that is really supposed to mean.

In that moment God spoke to my heart. "Now you are praying for my will, child."

This was a game changer for me! It hadn't occured to me to push into God in a way that showed me who/what He could be in my trial. I had been praying for my outside circumstances to change so that I would have comfort and rest. But God showed me that to find the comfort and rest that I was hoping for, I needed to be praying for God to reveal His character in a greater way. This is probably really elementary for most of you. You're probably thinking "Gosh Jamie, been there, done that." I am a dumb sheep, a daughter of Eve. You can say it.

Many of you who read this blogpost have been praying for us. So I wanted to share with you this great thing that God is teaching me. Thank you for all your faithful prayers. Please continue to pray for us...

Love,
Jamie

Tuesday's Tool - Kid Time

We are 3 weeks into February and wow has it been a great month! Week one, we discussed loving God; week 2, loving our hubbys. And here we are at week 3. The challenge this week is focused on loving our kids.

As a side note, I have 4 precious children. They vary in age, personality, strengths and weaknesses. They each have a different love language -  two feel love with snuggles, we communicate our love through gifts with one of our children, but they all feel our love more when we spend time with them. I think this is a fairly universal thing with kids. They all crave time with their parents.

So here's the challenge - spend 30 minutes a day focusing on your children. That means we turn off TV's, cell phones, computers and hang out with our kids, doing something fun for 30 minutes. This could be anything: reading books, playing ball in the yard, boardgames, petshops, legos, blocks, washing dishes (with lots of bubbles), baking brownies.... you get the vibe here!

I would love to hear your thoughts! Have fun!

Future Planners of America

As I was driving to a birthday party this afternoon, I was listening intently to a conversation between my 9 year old and her friend. They were discussing what cars they would purchase when they turned 16. My daughter Sarah was telling her friend Hannah that she was planning on buying a brand new sports car. "It think it will cost a few thousand dollars," she added. Then Hannah spoke up. "Yes I'm planning on buying a car too and then when I get married, I will trade in my car and my husband's car and buy 1 car. Then I will drive him to work."

I almost busted out laughing! To me, everything they were discussing was plain ol' silly! But there was nothing silly about what these two planners were discussing. They were dead serious!

Driving down the road listening to all of this, thinking about how there was no possible way that my daughter would purchase a sports car, brand new, for a few thousand dollars, when she was 16 years old, God spoke very loudly to my heart.

"There is no difference between their absurd planning and yours." 

You see, for months I have been in a wrestling match with God over control and planning of my life. And God continually keeps me in a place where I am completely out of control. Friends, I am loosing the match! And as weary as I'm getting, hoping for some false sense of control and simplicity in my life, I keep fighting. (Yes, I am a dumb woman! You can say it!)

God's Word says in Isaiah 55:8, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways my ways."
In other words, God's mind, plan, and purpose for my life is utterly, completely incomprehensible. And no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to figure out the why's and the details to His plans. My job is to just trust that my Perfect, Loving, Awesome, All-Knowing Heavenly Father can only do what's best for me - even if it's painful or makes no sense or seems backwards. My plans for how I think things should go in my life is just as silly as my daughter's plans for her sports car at 16!

"For as high as the heavens are above the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts higher than your thoughts." -- Isaiah 55:9

Tuesday's Tool - Make Love, Not War

Today is Valentine's Day! Yes I know I'm stating the obvious here! It's also week number two in our February challenge to show love to the people closest to us. How are your quiet times going? Have you been seeking God and finding Him? I have, and it's been awesome!

Along with seeking to find Jesus, I'm adding challenge #2. Are you ready? This challenge is aimed at showing your husband that his number 1 need is your priority this week! If you're wondering if I'm talking about the 'S' word... Yes, I am! Sex. There I said it! This challenge requires that you spend this next week making opportunities to making love to your husband. I'm challenging you to carve out time for intimacy in your marriage atleast 3 times over the next week!

Hehehe. Wouldn't it be great to start your day with Jesus and end it with your hubby? Have fun... wink!

Tuesday's Tool - Hide and Go Seek

It's here! The month of luuuvvvv! Over the next 29 days, I thought it would be fun to throw out a few challenges to myself and fellow-sisters-who-read-the-blog; challenges that could make some positive luv changes in our lives and our families' lives. I hope you'll join me in this! First out of the barn....

Our relationships' with our Heavenly Father.

The challenge comes from Jeremiah 29:13 "You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart" (Holman Christian Standard). The Message says of Jeremiah 29:13, "When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed."

Whew! Hear that? When we want to find Him more than anything else, we won't be disappointed! I smell a challenge in that verse! Infact, it seems to me that God has set up a game of hide and seek!

So here's the challenge for this week: Spend 15 to 30 minutes every day seeking out God with all your (and my) heart. Grab your Bible and get it ready to read. Then, first chance you get, seek Him. Talk to Him. Tell Him what's happening in your life. Confess sin you've been hanging on too. Thank Him for His great love for you. Praise Him because He is a Mighty, Faithful God! Plant your eyes on His unfailing words and read through the Scriptures. Did you find Him? Do you see Him? Happy seeking.... wink!

Tuesday's Tool - Medicine for the Soul

Proverbs 17:22 "A joyful heart is good medicine..."

My dear friend Cathy has a delightful heart! She finds the hilarious silver lining in every crazy situation that God sends her way. For example, one time she was fishing with her husband, Peter, in their john-boat. They had been sitting in lawn chairs inside the boat during the fishing trip. So when Peter cranked up the boat and took off, Cathy wasn't real 'secured' into the boat in her folding lawn chair. And it wasn't seconds later that she flew out of the boat, lawn chair and all, into the river. Well Peter said he immediately stopped the boat to turn around, anxiously awaiting Cathy's resurface! Within seconds she came to the top of the water and began laughing hysterically! And the one thing she was worried about was her flip flops floating down river!

Cathy laughs about most things. This is one of the reasons I love being around her! And because she is an iron-sharpens-iron kind of a friend, I started realizing my lack of laughter at life's little bumps in that road less traveled. Most of the time I get highly annoyed (and I probably would have at the boating incident.)

So yesterday morning I prayed for God to send me some of those silver lining situations that would bring much needed laughter into my very busy, very crazy days. I also prayed that He would help me see the funny in those situations. And then I waited to see what He would do... oh and did He bless me with some really great 'funnies'!

Here's one:

My sweet boy crawled over into the bathtub and joined his older sister for a second bathtime, fully clothed, diaper and all! I laughed and laughed! And later thanked the Lord for kids - and funny kids at that!