You know I spend much of my day helping my children and husband. "Mommy will you help me get my sock on?" "Mommy will you help me brush my teeth?" "Jamie can you find the bill so I can pay it?" And the list goes on. This is part of my job, but lately I have been so tired. So I haven't jumped at being a helper with as much optimism as I know I should.
This morning I got up with Eli at 5:00. This was the 3rd time I had been up with him and so the sleep deprivation was really hitting. My kitchen was a disaster, the floors needed mopping and I had a load of dishes to do. So I put Eli down at 5:30 and since everyone was asleep, I knew I could get things done quickly. I pushed the sleep deprivation aside and went to work.
One hour later I was done. The kitchen looked great and I felt like I had accomplished something to completion - which doesn't happen much anymore. But all this came at the price of rest. And I found myself crying out to the Lord in utter exhaustion. And not just from that morning, but from the weeks of broken rest and very full, non-stop days, where naps are as scarce as rain in a desert!
I opened a devotional journal to a page that said Help (oh the humor of the Lord!) Listed was Psalm 121. I love this Psalm -- "I lift my eyes to the mountains, from where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth." Wow. What a passage. Mountains figuratively are all the things in my life that are too big for me to handle. And having this fourth baby along with all the responsibilities of wife and mother have been a mountain for me. Then the Holy Spirit said so clearly - your Fathers is the creator of the heavens and the earth, draw from His power; He is your Helper. I am grateful that the Holy Spirit gets through to my brain because I am so encouraged by this. God knows that I am a pooped out mama and He meets me where I am. He is my Helper and just like my family knows that they can rely on me for help, I can rely on God for help in everything.